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#thisisawkward: How to recover from the inevitable

By Austin Cappa  |  August 20, 2013

This entry was posted in SR Humor and tagged , , , , , , , .

Hannah is an intern with the SocialRadar marketing department.  She likes complaining about crossfit, eating vanilla ice cream, and her dog, Willow

If your anything like me these next scenarios are anything but unusual:

  • You get caught smiling at the cute guy whose looking at the model behind you…

you

  • You run into an old high-school friend and ask her when she’s due…she’s not pregnant…
  • Or perhaps you’ve run into your ex on the day you decide to walk your dog in his old sweatpants and shirt…

If any or maybe all of the above resonate with you in one way or another, you’ve probably stopped questioning a long time ago why they keep happening. 

Being almost 24, its safe to say I’ve gotten myself into more than a handful of uncomfortably awkward encounters.  The trick to recovering from them is a little wit, some sarcasm, being quick on your toes and a damn good cover story.

Let’s start with the first scenario.  Unfortunately, not all of us are naturally 6’ tall, stick skinny with impeccable cheekbones, and that’s totally fine (at least that’s what I tell myself).  Don’t worry though, there’s still hope for us average folk.  He’s already seen you awkwardly smiling at him, so you might as well muster up what little confidence you have left and just go for the kill.  It’s scary, trust me I know, but how many times have you walked away from a really attractive person and thought “What if?”  If anything, you’ll have a good story to laugh about with your friends later, or hey, maybe you’ll get a date!  Or you could always do this…

Now onto the not-so preggo friend.  I will admit this one is a bit of a doozy. You’ve already asked the question and there’s no turning back from that.  Act quickly, as soon as you see her face start to prune up, you know shit is about to hit the fan. Say something like, “Well I was just asking because I think I might be pregnant”.  The only way to beat crazy is by being crazier.  If she doesn’t seem like she’s convinced take it a step further, “and my baby daddy just broke up with me…” You may have totally dug yourself in a hole, but there’s no way she’s going to lay into you after that one.

And most importantly, before you go on that walk in your most comfortable PJ’s, take a second and go to a mirror.  Really take some time here (30s max) and ask yourself, “Am I okay with this?”  If you’re confident that no matter the consequences you can rock that look, then you go girl. If not (and that’s totally fine too), you should probably go change, take a different route, order some pee-pee pads or better yet…

Admittedly, I could go on for hours about the awkward situations I’ve gotten myself into over the years.  Until I can figure out how to get people to pay me for my expert intel, the trick to recovery is simple.  Know your audience.  Soon, there will be some app that will help you do this much better than your failing memory or some crazy awkward girl can.

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